I met her while watching my daughter play travel basketball. I’m not sure how the conversation started but how could it not when you are sitting on bleachers or the floor in hallways next to each other all weekend? I recall her being smartly dressed and you know that I love fashion. Additionally, I knew her daughter attended a Christian school so I was guessing we had faith in common. Our chats helped absorb some of the waiting and I was encouraged by learning about her life, faith and family.
“In friendship…we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years’ difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another…the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting–any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends, “Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.” The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Whatever stage of life you are in there are likely other women who are right there with you. When I was the mom of little children, I had my “mom friends”. I was incredibly grateful for them but it didn’t take me long to realize that you can sit in a room full of women experiencing many of the things you are and still feel lonely. At that stage you will find yourself with your rear just hitting a chair with a hot cup of coffee and needing to bounce right back up to attend to someone’s need. I’m not sure all of us ever sat at the table at the same time with so many littles running around.
Then you move through elementary school and into middle school and junior high and all of the activities that go along with it. And that’s how I found my sweet friend I talked about at the top. You will chat with each other on field trips, commiserate about bad behavior, kids attitudes and messy bedrooms. You share the sweet moments too. Those few gems that shine through where you think you might be doing something right. Perhaps you become friends with the moms of the kids that your children are friends with. They may introduce you to someone you wouldn’t have gotten to know otherwise and your world will be that much richer for it. Kids the same age + common interests can be SO FUN!
I’ve also found it helpful to have friendships with a couple of gals who are a few years ahead of me in this parenting journey. Women I can call when I’m not sure what to do or when I need reassurance that a challenging stage will pass.
I realize I’ve talked about friends that have been in my life through different stages of my kids lives. There are those of you reading this who aren’t moms and yet you have similar experiences. There were those college friends who’ve probably all moved on to different places but will always hold a special place in your heart. Then there are different people in jobs we’ve held that were dear to us while we were there. Or maybe you have a great friend that you look forward to seeing each day at work. Children are not the only way people are ushered in and out of our lives.