I didn’t have big dreams for my life growing up. I can’t remember ever sitting around thinking of all of the things I wanted to do or places I wanted to go. For me, there was a path I was hoping to walk down but I was pretty sure that God wouldn’t let me go there.
My grand vision for my life included 2 main events:
marrying Darren Wiers and becoming a teacher.
My brain couldn’t go any farther than that and frankly neither could my heart. It almost seemed too much to hope for and the idea that I could want for more and possibly not get it seemed too painful to consider. Marrying Darren and becoming a teacher seemed like too much to ask for at all. My safest bet was to stick with that.
The reason, you see, was that I believed lies…lots of lies…lies about me, God, my life and future and those lies closed my heart to who God was and my eyes to the possibilities before me. And so I worked really hard to keep it all in my grasp and my control.
And then this happened and I was in over my head.
God had me out deeper than I had been with him before and he was creating a new picture of life in my heart and mind – one I had never considered. He was asking me to be a stay at home mom. For the first time I was forced to really face the lies I believed and consider that God was inspiring me to RE-DREAM.
I believed that any goodness was meant for other people and not me. I knew some of what the Bible said about God and his love but I just couldn’t risk believing that he meant it for me too.
Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. Romans 5:18
I believed more in the reality of my frailty than the truth of His strength and power.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”…that is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
I believed that if He gave me “good” things then He would have to balance the scales with “bad” things too. So if I could control what good was in my life, then I could also somehow control the bad.
Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:17-18
He called me off of the path that was safe, the only one I had ever dared to believe or imagine…to leave my dream job to stay at home…to consider that He knew better than I did and to trust him. He asked me to get to know Him and His plans for me. He wants ALL of us…our whole hearts which will lead us to give Him our lives to be spent for His purpose and glory.
And it was only the beginning of seeing God not just as my redeemer but my re-dreamer…of Him calling me out deeper and deeper…not just in my heart but in my life…the way I spend my days….the work I do.
I can’t say that my life doesn’t look as I expected it to because I truly had no expectation. I was short on vision and long on fear and doubt. Ultimately, He brought more children into my life, a job I couldn’t have fathomed that lead to adventures and growth beyond my wildest dreams and He doesn’t let up. He calls and I must answer – answer even though I’m scared and unqualified.
It’s terrifying but SO worth it.
How is God your RE-DREAMER? Let me know in the comments.